his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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