I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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