i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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