She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize