We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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