i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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