Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
