Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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