I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
