I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize