Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
you never un-have a 4some
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
