He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
