He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Holy shit dude........stairs
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
