it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
