you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
