I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
