So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
