My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
