Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize