How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
