I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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