I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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