Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
