Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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