Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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