FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
