party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
