K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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