i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
