I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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