he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
