so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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