You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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