He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
