wake up i wanna do it froggy style
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
