Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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