He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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