i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
