Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
