we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
