I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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