I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
