Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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