were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
