So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
