Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
