who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
When are your genitals available?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
