dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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