matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i was born a porn star she said
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
do nipples grow back?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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