No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
