wake up i wanna do it froggy style
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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