Fuck appropriateness.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
