She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
