on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You have to summon your inner elephant
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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