id be glad to
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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