Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
