They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
