I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
pop tarts are not kleenex
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
