Pants 0. Shit 1.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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