yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
