I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
