is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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