You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
